I'm not quite sure how we got here, and I'm not quite sure what it means yet. When she was 9 and came to live with us, we thought what a good idea this was. When she was 11, we wondered if we could give her back. When she was 13, we thought we wouldn't survive it. When she was 16, we thought she wouldn't survive it. By 18, we started to have real conversations with her. At 20, she was pleasant...mostly. And, we survived. What will adulthood hold for her and for us?
We knew what Syd was coming from. We set some simple goals. Keep her out of jail, off drugs, and without making us grandparents until she was an adult, and make sure she graduated high school. We did that. And, despite the fact that the other night I found out she was turning her two year degree into a three year degree through a muleheaded need to do the absolute very least in every situation, I'm pretty sure she's going to graduate with at least an Associate's Degree. And, I already know she'll always be able to hold a job (loves money!). That's just gravy on the pork chop as far as we are concerned. And, if she goes on to get her bachelors, then we will have far exceeded the expectations of just about everybody that warned us about what we were getting into when we got into it.
It has changed who I am, for the better. It has changed what I expect of people. And, it's taught me to hold other people responsible for their choices...and hold me responsible for my feelings about their choices. And, to practice that, most of the time.
And, somehow, we survived. And, we made a family. And, we learned to live together. Unconventional. Proud. And, trailblazing for the next generation of gay parents. And, trying to show her how to be a good parent.
I wouldn't trade it for the world. Or do it again for all the tea in China.
Happy Birthday, Syd. May all your dreams come true.
Prom.
First dance. She was so high on sugar!!
She made me learn most of the rules of basketball.
Have a great Monday! Lane
14 comments:
Happy Birthday to Sydney! She is stunning in her prom dress, despite your initial worries about going to help choose it (and then on the off chance, picking up the perfect choice). The three of you have made such a fine, fine family.
Happy Birthday! You’re a beautiful young lady. Mary
Congratulations to you and your wonderful family!
Love
Happy Birthday Sydney. You've become a lovely young lady.
Happy birthday, Sydney! Love to you and your lovely parents: Lane and Rob.
Happy birthday, Sydney, and congratulations dads! Now comes the fun part as all that hard work for years pays off and you get to be with a wonderful adult. Best wishes!
You've done yourselves proud!
Congratulations! Well done! We took on 10 year old twins boys, who are now 25. Between them, they have 6 kids with 4 baby mamas. They did not graduate from high school, nor do they have a drivers license. They have existing warrants. They work part time. They are not sober.
All things considering, I would give you a gold medal!
Congratulations to you and her, you make a lovely family.
Happy Birthday Sydney, and Congratulations to you and Rob!! Job well done, fellas!!
Love you bunches!
Becky
Dang it, Lane! You made me cry!
Another Becky
Happy birthday to Sydney and congratulations to you and Rob! My oldest is 17, and I still have the occasional fantasy about returning him to the maternity ward... ;-) It sure has been a ride. Y'all done good!
This is one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever heard.
Congratulations Sydney, it is your time to set the world on fire. Congratulations Lane and Rob, job well done. lum
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