Warm Win

Today, I’m getting to wear my new vest for the first time.

I got this yarn from a friend whose Mother had passed and she sent the yarn through me to Project Linus.  I donated most of it and I kept some to use on my own linus projects and I kept a little bit of it for me.
I had four and a half skeins of this beautiful yarn.


Look at that label.  This yarn is so old, you could only buy Wintuk from Sears.  I’m estimating 70’s maybe.  Anyway, it’s a beautiful gray brown and I immediately fell in love. 

I wanted to make a sweater, but I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough yarn, so I decided on a sleeveless vest.  It took me a while to find a pattern that I wanted to make, but this one won.


It was very simple to make and I whipped it out in about a month of knitting during family time (when I should have been hand quilting). 

This morning, I hid the last of the loose threads and now, it’s ready to go, on another cold day in Texas.


[And, yes, Sydney, I am sucking in my gut.  Bite me.]

I love to knit.  It’s fun and most of the time relaxing.  Not every project comes out this good.  I recently finished a sweater that I had knit several years ago and now, I’m trying to “fix it” so I can wear it. 


We are fighting teen acne.  Really, I never thought that I’d be the one playing mother or saying “it’s the only face you’re going to get and it has to last a really long time” and “you may not care what you look like now, but you’re going to care in 30 years and in 50 years, and taking care starts now.”

I really thought peer pressure would take care of this.  But, it hasn’t and I’m the one that gets the rolled eyes when I ask “have you washed your face since basketball practice?” 

But, you know what?  Four months ago, the poor child was having an incredibly bad outbreak.  It was so bad that it has left a few tiny scars.  When washing and medicating with over-the-counter products wasn’t working, we went to the doctor and he’s started us on treatments that are helping.  But, I still have to remind her to keep her face clean because it is not a miracle cure. 

Man-mom is a harder job than it looks. 

At next week’s game, they’re having parent night and each girl will be escorted on the court by her parents.  The mere thought of it takes my breath away.  The stigma (that probably only still exists in my memory) of being gay parents; of being such a minority with so many quietly prejudiced against us; unknown enemies; it makes me break out in a sweat. 

But, Sydney is proud of us and she is not at all ashamed to have her two dads stand up with her on parent’s night.  And, if I’m not going to stand up and say, “hey, we’re doing this and we’re doing a pretty good job and we’re not ashamed”, then who’s going to say it? in what generation? 

The time is now.  The day is today.  In the 80’s, when so many of us were dying, we used to rally and march and chant “We’re here.  We’re queer.  Get used to it.”  Next week, I’ll have to step out of the crowd and silently live those words again.  Just the two of us.  Proud.  Tall and standing beside our student (an athlete on A/B honor roll, well behaved, called a “good kid” by campus police…we must be doing something right.)

Be well.  Have a great Wednesday.  Lane


andsewon said...

Love your vest! I do not knit or crochet and wish I did. I adore the hand done socks!Hormones are horrid things for teens and set off the terrible zits! I never had any so reckon was lucky. My kids were not too bad but we did the doctor route as well.

You may not see my face/body in the stands but will be there in spirit giving you all a standing ovation on parents night!!! You all rock as a couple and parents!! Yes be proud and enjoy 'the kid' being proud too!!

Andra Gayle said...

The vest looks fabulous! great job. I have never been able to teach myself to knit. Not persistent enough I guess.

Anonymous said...

Great job on the vest. You and Rob are doing a great job of raising Sydney, so show your pride for her. Thanks for sharing.

Becky said...

The vest is great! I was knitting some myself last night. You and Rob proudly accompany your daughter to parent's night! No matter what people may think, Sydney is being loved and parented and nurtured and that is what matters. Now, if you wear your vest that evening, if you can puff out your chest while sucking in the gut......go for it!!! Love you! Becky

sewfunquilts said...

I love your vest, and it looks great on you; terrific job. I remember that kind of yarn and might even still have some of it. lol. Yes, very cold for us TX residents, and was wishing I had a stocking hat yesterday when I went out to the Post Office.

How wonderful for both of you to escort your daughter onto the court for Parents Night. What a memory for her!

Shevvy said...

On the acne topic, its not something I ever suffered from but my siblings did.

My Mum swears by salt water. She said she noticed it when they all spent time in the sea one year and all their acne cleared up. After that she used to get hot water with lots of salt disolved in it and get them to splash it on their face when they had an outbreak.

Tracey in CT said...

Lane, I've read your blog for a long time and never commented before, but today is the day! ;-) I love this post a lot. I'm sure that Sydney is proud to have you guys as parents and it certainly sounds like you are doing a great job, it isn't easy for any of us to be the parents of a teenager. I think that you shouldn't be at all nervous about standing up with Sydney and escorting her. The more normal it is, the more people will accept it, and if people don't accept it, that's THEIR problem, not yours. The time is now, and you should be proud of who you are. I know that my parents raised us to accept people as they are, even if they weren't quite comfortable with it, and now my kids don't see it as anything odd. Hopefully as a society we are evolving and becoming more tolerant. And by the way, I LOVE the 'man-mom' term! So sweet. Carry on, you're doing fine. Ignore the haters.

qltmom9 said...

We've had to even go the accutane route for cystic acne for some of ours...it WAS definitely a miracle cure for those that had to do that.
The vest is nice. Oh, I wish I could knit.


quiltermom said...

Lane, If I lived near you, I would be in the stands giving you a standing ovation. "Mom" is a hard job for anyone, and you are doing a terrific job. We will be with you in spirit cheering on your wonderful family.

Anonymous said...

Lane, It's Parents Night, no distinction, just Parents. I'll bet you that there are many children out there that would be thrilled to call you two their parents. I doesn't matter who the loving and nurturing comes from only that it comes. Stand up and be proud of that girl and be proud of yourself and who you are.
Linda in CT

mssewcrazy said...

Love the vest-wish my knitting skills were at this level. As for the acne we did all the dermatologist stuff, accutane which while it worked has some very serious possible side effects, the pill and while it worked, when the second daughter had severe acne she did the proactiv regimen and it was very successful. While it does cost, it was much cheaper than all the other we had done and it was like a miracle. They send it by mail but you can have them hold off or cancel without issue. highly recommend proactiv as something to try

sandra said...

Lane(and Rob) be proud of being GOOD parents to Sydney. It looks like she is growing to be a lovely young woman and the credit belongs to you and Rob. No one can take that away from you.


Unknown said...

Hi Lane love the vest you look ready for anything the world "throws" at you. When our daughter a teacher sends out notices to parents she never uses gender and now includes grandparents and carers in the notice heading so be inclusive and to ***** with anyone who objects

Megan said...

Well done on the vest - it looks terrific on you.

And big hug for next week's parent night. I hope you can look back on it as a highlight of 2013 in years to come. I know you don't seek the spotlight or enjoy it all that much, but this is for Sydney, so enjoy!

Sydney, Australia

Patricia said...

I can knit a little, but my problem is if I make a mistake, I can't fix it! I have to rip it all out and start over. Taking some really good knitting classes is on my "Bucket List".

Now, I agree with all your other "blogger friends"---enjoy the moment with your daughter. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, feels, objects to, etc---what is important is that you and Rob love your daughter and are there to show her support and to acknowledge your family as every other parent will be doing that night!

Rebecca Grace said...

You knit, too? I'm impressed -- your sweater looks great on you!

You know, I always feel social anxiety when we have to go to school events, too. I feel like the other parents all seem to know each other outside of school, they're all friends, and I feel self-conscious about my hair, whether I'm wearing the right clothes, whatever. So, if it helps, keep in mind that there are probably other parents who are feeling some anxiety, too -- maybe because they are the only black parents, or the only Indian family, or because they never graduated themselves, or because they are the OLDEST parents and they hope no one thinks they are the grandparents... It's so easy to focus on our own hangups that we are blinded to the things that others are obsessing and worrying about.

And you guys are AWESOME parents. I think Sydney should have a T-shirt that says "My queer parents are WAY better than your straight parents!" :-)

Unknown said...

Lane, your vest is great! You look dapper and who cares if you are sucking in your gut!

I understand your fear, as a gay parent, and have experienced the heart thumping many times! The most important thing is that Syndey loves the both of you and stands up for you. I will be thinking of you and cheering you on! Take photos! I want to see!

lw said...

Love the vest, you look good in it.

I had teen and adult acne (not too bad, but always some.) Two things that made it go away: washing my face with Phisohex instead of deodorant soap (all my folks provided) and Retin A.

If only either of my parents had cared about me enough to do something about it. Sydney is one lucky girl.

Tammy said...

Lane, as parents you and Rob rock! It seems our kids grown up in the blink of an eye... enjoy the spotlight! Your sweater vest is totally cool.

Anonymous said...

If being a man-mom is hard you should try being a mom to teenaged boys!!
I feel for Sydney. I got rid of zits with Aubrey Organics liquid herbal soap and mixing in a few drops of lavender oil for anti bacterial action. Works better than anything that I have tried. Some people break out from the ingredients in soaps etc and those ingredients are also in acne treatments.

Vesuviusmama said...

Try to enjoy your time in the spotlight with Sydney. (that didn't happen yet, did it?) And enjoy your sweater vest - it's a beauty. Teen acne - nothing to enjoy there. I've been warning my kids that it is coming for them because both their dad and I suffered from it, but do they listen to me and wash their faces? Heck no! They'll see!

My name is Riet said...

Hi Lane. That vest looks perfect on you. Great job. I have been following you now and then and I got to know you both as good parents to Sidney. You can be proud of yourselves. We did move house over two years ago and since then I have not been quilting. I did join a quilting group but I honestly forgot which one it was. I would love to participate again. Can you help me remember please? Thanks in advance.
Riet in Holland.