4/16/24

MIA

Sorry about being MIA for so long.  My Mom got sick before Easter and I went to see her that weekend and drove back on Monday.  It seemed that shew as getting better, but over the week, she continued to decline and they decided to go with comfort care only.  I drove back that weekend and stayed until after the funeral, driving home yesterday.  She hung in a lot longer than the doctors thought she would.  

Everyone in my Dad's church group (Sunday school Class) got covid and they all brought it home to their wives.  Everyone got better except my Mom.  She had several other health issues going on and was not able to survive the cumulative effect of them all.  

It was great to all come together in the effort of caring for her.  My sisters and their husbands and daughters and my Mom's sister who is a retired nurse all pulled together, some of us providing direct care and others providing support.  I stayed at my parent's house and was able to take over with my Dad, making sure he didn't spend all day every day at the hospital and that he ate at regular intervals and drank plenty of water.  Our favorite doctor talked to him about caring for himself through this and he reached over and put his hand on my shoulder and said 'I got my boy helping me with that.'  It felt really good.  

When she passed, my Dad, sisters, me, and my Dad's only brother were in the room.  One of my sisters commented that her breathing had gotten quiet and the nurse came in to administer the next pain med and she passed quietly during that.  A couple hours later and we were out of the hospital for the last time.  

For days, we ate hospital food.  Hospitals are where you go to get better, but this hospital seemed to only sell the things the doctors tell us not to eat.  I had some really lovely pancakes tho.  Every morning, my Dad and I would go down and several times, he asked for two strips of bacon.  He'd get two slices of bacon.  I'd ask for two strips of bacon and I also got two...but each one was three slices stuck together.  I tried to have a salad on one of my first days, but the chiller they kept them in was too cold and the salad had frozen.  I checked several times after and the same was true every time.  So I ate things like fried chicken and scrambled eggs and biscuits and pizza and on Wednesday, my body revolted and I started actively pushing for steamed vegetables at every meal I could control.  

The funeral was beautiful.  The preacher told stories about my Mom and I saw friends and family I had not seen in 40 years.  They played the hymns Blessed Assurance and In the Garden.  It was funny how all four of us agreed so quickly on the hymns.  I suggested both without realizing my sisters and Dad had already talked about them both.  She was buried in the family cemetery in Louisiana near my Grandparents and many uncles, aunts and cousins.  

I'm sure I'll have more to say later, but didn't want to wait until next Monday to give an update on why I was missing.  

Everybody have a great week and hug someone you love.  And, when you fuss and argue, make up quick as you can, just in case you don't get another chance.  

Lane

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. Sounds like your family pulled together as it should, and what a sweet gesture by your father.
Kathy

sewandsow said...

My condolences on the loss of your mother. It was nice that she had everyone there when she passed. I will forever be grateful that I was with my mom when she passed.

Unknown said...

Thanks for checking in Lane. I recently lost my mother and while it was expected, I found this is something you're never really ready for. Peace be with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss Lane. Never easy to loose one’s mum but so glad you were there when she passed.

My Piece of Earth said...

So sorry for your loss of your Mother.

The memories will comfort you and your families though difficult days and be thankful she is resting in peace.

Hugs.

LinB said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that working in your garden this summer gives you plenty of time to grieve well.

JustGail said...

I'm sorry about your Mom.

Churn Dash said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum.

Hugs to you and your family.

Helen

jane said...

My condolences to you.

Alex in California said...

So hard to lose a parent. God bless your Mom and comfort all of you.

Danice G said...

So sorry to hear about your mother. Yes, we should treat people as if we will never see them again. Say what needs to be said (with love), tell them we love them. Forgive and forget the past. Well said. Blessings.

Anonymous said...

I’m so sorry to hear of your Moms passing. May she Rest in Peace, knowing she is loved. Thanks for sharing. Mary

Anonymous said...

My sympathies to you and your family, Lane. Lovely that you were able to help your Dad and see some folks that have been out of your orbit. Your Mom raised a fine man.

Suzanne said...

I'm glad you had the opportunity to make such a positive memory with your father, particularly in such difficult circumstances. I'm glad that you were able to be with your mother when she passed. May her memory be a blessing.

Linda B said...

It is so hard to lose a parent, but what a blessing that you and your family could be with your mom in her last hours.
Thinking of you at this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story.

Auntie Em said...

I'm very sorry to hear of your Mom's passing, Lane. Sending my sincerest condolences.