1/5/10

Too Blue or not too blue

I thought I'd be far enough along on Sydney's pillow shams to post something about them, but yesterday, in therapy, it came out that she is not happy about what I'm doing in her room. Her favorite color is purple and she doesn't understand why I'm not making everything purple...quilt, shams, skirt, curtains and valance.


I tried to explain to her that I'd asked and asked what she wanted to do and she didn't have any ideas and her old set had just finally worn out.


I tried to explain that I'd brought these fabrics in and asked if she wanted them and she'd said yes.


I tried to explain that the blue I'd chosen would go with purple and whatever her favorite color was next week.


But she wasn't having anything to do with it. Then, Rob started about how he also didn't understand why there was no purple. Okay, it takes me three hours of work to pay for one hour of therapy and we're talking about the color of Sydney's curtains. Grrrrrrrrrrr! I know, I know. It's the process and not the content. But really! I would have changed the subject, but just as they got started on me good, time was up (I think that's the therapist's way of saying she's bored ;-) )

I tried to be big about it, but really, I was cut to the bone. I thought about what Sydney said, and when we got home, I told her that I'd make whatever she wanted for her room in whatever color and I wouldn't do anything until she told me what she wanted.


Rob came in to explain that he and Sydney are both afraid of change and that I crave it. I lived in a total of two houses from birth to adulthood and they moved every year or more. Change for them was rarely a good thing.


But, it's not that I crave change. After a while, everything either goes out of style or wears out or just gets boring! Nothing can stay the same forever just because it's comfortable. In fact, the more comfortable it is, the faster it wears out, right?


(Okay, for that to make sense, you probably need to know that I dyed the dining room curtains eggplant last week, just to see what it would look like. We've been trying to pick new fabric for 2 years and Rob wants eggplant and I want green, so I thought I'd show him what eggplant would look like in there before I spent that much on fabric. Yes, I'm the impulsive one. He likes it, I don't, so we're no closer to a decision than we were before.)


Then, just before bed, Sydney said she'd changed her mind and it was okay for me to go with the blue. I guess that before I thread the machine back to blue thread, I should ask if she's changed her mind again yet.


Change is good. Change is real good. You may as well enjoy it, because you sure can't stop it. Especially around me.


Still haven't heard from the school. Rob and I are on pins and needles waiting to see what they have to say. I guess if it's good news, we can wait for it and if it's bad news, we can really wait for it.


Have a great Tuesday! I'm back in the office and it's a good thing. Not sure how many more days I could have stayed home with those purple curtains. Lane

6 comments:

Becky said...

Oh my. I'm so sorry you all are going through a rough patch. I can remember when I used to ask Rick what he wanted for dinner and all he would say was "I don't care". So one evening he came in and asked what was for dinner and I lifted the lid off an empty pot and said, "I don't care either!". Communication is a tricky thing.....hope the therapy gives you some relief. Hang in there.
Love ya!

oldbatt said...

I felt so bad for you reading that post just because you put so much work into it and you are right a teen age girl will change her mind in about a half hour or so. But if you make her something she really doesn't want she will remember it and always tell you about it for the rest of her life. BTW - I HATED my yellow room! Lisa

Quilting in My Pyjamas said...

From someone who has survived a very difficult teen girl - I feel for you- I really do!

In the last 8 years my DD's room has been lavendar, hot pink and taupe. My husband is over painting and that room is probably about 2 inches smaller all round due to paint layers.

Let her have her purple. Maybe some gorgeous purple beaded cushions, and something else. Something that's easy to change when she decides she wants lime green next week.

Coloradolady said...

Oh, man....is this really about the color or is it something more...just wondering...honestly, I'd be so ticked at Rob for asking that question in front of Sydney, I'd be fuming...but then, that is just me....I should be in therapy myself I am sure...so don't take my advice..LOL.

I am sorry Lane, I am sure that hurt after all the work you put into it, and it is very beautiful. What colors are the walls in her room? Could you maybe paint one of the walls a LIGHT lavender and make her happy?? Leave the quilt as it is, because I remember being that age and my mind changed with the wind....hang in there...I know some days it does not pay to get out of bed.

KK said...

Hi Lane...I believe that sometimes kids need lessons in appreciation and concern for the feelings of others. My 14 year old has issues with the loss of her Father who was murdered 3 months before she was born. I how trying thet can be. We want to protect and comfort children who have experienced trauma. However, they can not go through life only considering their own feelings. They have to learn that yes, circumstances have happened that has not happened to everyone else but that is no excuse for bad behavior or rudeness. I do not want to offend you but I feel that the quilt should have meant more to her because of the love and thought that you put into it. Teenagers are difficult. But time passes so quickly. Hopefully with understanding and compromise from both sides, they make it safely into adulthood. I have 4 children from age 32 to 14. My oldest daughter went through many rebellious "stages" and had many "episodes." She is 19 now and a junior at UNC Chapel Hill on full academic scholarship. My youngest daughter is also a scholar (straight A's) oops... bragging. I have found that by letting her be involved in activities that she has chosen truly makes her happy. It is HECTIC. She rock climbs, mountain climbs, canoes, plays travelling volleyball, school volley ball, church youth group, interpretive dance group, band, math counts etc. I believe that when they are truly happy, everybody in the family can be happy. Less pouting, less moping, less rudeness, less sadness. They have to find what they enjoy. I have had less success with the boys (32 and 22). They did not enjoy academics and fell into unlawful activities. The oldest is now doing great after losing 10 years of his freedom. The youngest seems to be going the same way. We have to try our best and continue to be there through it all. Being a single Mother for most of the 32 years has been tough but so worth the heart aches and pain. God bless you and Rob for being there for Sidney.

Vesuviusmama said...

Ugh! I feel your frustration. I am all about change and variety, while my husband, not so much so. It is most evident at dinner. I urge the kids to try new things, but if their father won't, well, there goes my credibility. Hang in there. I have absolutely no advice, but I can sympathize with you.