A lot of people can just turn off current events. Stop watching the news. Stop reading about it.
I am not that enlightened. I cannot turn it off. I cannot ignore it. I cannot look away. I wish I could.
I am made sad by what I see.
I still function. I still go to work and make dinner and talk to my family about important things. But, I am nonetheless affected.
I think a lot of us are. We keep getting out and doing what we need to do. But, there's a certain new fear. Fear of "them", whoever your "them" is (heck, I might be your "them"). Because "them" are dangerous.
Have we always been "us" and "them"? I think so. I think "them" has changed in appearance. But, I think there's always been a "them". It's human nature, I guess. But, now either the us's or the them's have started to fight back. And, that's scary.
What is even more scary is that my almost 19 year old daughter has decided to dye her beautiful hair. And, we have had a textbook reaction. We explained that her hair was beautiful and if she'd just take care of it, she'd love it again. I even went so far as to mention that her whole "look" looked like she had stopped feeding it and it had gone wild. But, no arguing or fighting or raised voices, even as much as we'd like to say "no". But, she is an adult and she is determined.
At least she's not going blond. She's going purple.
Okay, okay, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's just going to be purple on the ends, from about her shoulders down. Lots of girls are doing it.
And, then, maybe it will be out of her system.
And, it has been mentioned that if it looks too bad, we'll get her a back door key so people won't see her coming in our house.
But, it has also been mentioned that if she has enough available cash that she is not saving for school, maybe she ought to be paying rent.
Can I get an Amen?
Everybody have a great Friday!
Lane
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A blog to talk about quilting and raising a daughter, which I do in equal measure. I'll also talk a little about gardening, a little about cooking, and share a few pleasant memories. Hope you enjoy it.
10 comments:
I know what you mean about the world being a scary place. I keep telling myself to limit the news but I can't seem to either.
It is just hair Lane! It will grow out! But on the flip side, your house your rules! I know my nephew who is 21 wanted to get a tattoo but my sister and brother-in-law said as long as we are paying for your college, there will be no tattoos! He goes to college out of state be he has not gotten one. At least with hair it can be easily remedied unlike a tattoo! Hang in there!
As you said, it could be worse. This is one of those opportunities where the parents see their beloved child take a path that they believe is a mistake. From this perspective, be glad this is the choice she picked to make, and hope it ends there! Try to let her have the space to make these tiny choices with a minimum of feedback, either negative or positive, and let her learn that she lives with her choices and their outcomes. I had this streak of rebellion when I went to college...stop pretending you are shocked!!!...and it all turned out ok. When I think of what my parents thought of my choices, it makes me cringe. Just continue to be caring and loving unconditionally. You've got a wonderful young woman for a daughter.
Having said all of this....if she comes up with a true corker of an idea that could have long lasting, permanent repercussions...throw a humongous hissy fit!!!!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! (Show us a picture of the purple hair. At least she picked MY favorite color!! haha)
Love, Becky
I remember the day our teenaged daughter came home from Girl Scout camp with dyed hair. My husband was absolutely outraged! I said, "Don, if this is the extent of her adolescent rebellion--coloring her hair while at Girls Scout Camp--be thankful. It could be so much worse!" And he calmed down. When I went to college in the mid 60s, I decided to ditch the plaid skirts and cardigan sweaters and dress in sweatshirts and jeans. Quite a rebellious thing at the time, and look at us now.
As for scary, when I listen to the news--every single day for hours it seems!--I try to remind myself that they report only the exceptional events. That's what "news" is--the exceptional and not the ordinary. No need to be afraid of this world. Most of it is perfectly calm and serene.
First, I am as distressed as you are by the news, and by the fact that "civilized" people have decided that discussing politics is like talking about your bathroom habits in public. Public discussion and debate is necessary in order for democracy to work effectively. The politicians and pundits certainly aren't listening to one another, so if ordinary people can't talk about the choices we're faced with as a nation and everyone just listens to news sources from "their side"... Doom and gloom!!!
As for the purple hair. I get your shock and your disappointment. When I was 19 I shocked my parents with a shoulder tattoo, and that was back in 1991 when tattoos were even less respectable and ordinary than they are today. And of course, I still have that tattoo at 43. The purple hair will grow out, styles will change, she will grow and change, and it will be a memory -- "remember how mad we were that time you dyed your hair purple?" Also, there is so much relentless pressure on girls and young women to conform to a very unrealistic and (for most) unattainable standard of female beauty. I think that on some level, the girls who are dying their hair pink or purple or teal are expressing some healthy rebellion against those negative cultural norms.
You have raised a good, smart girl despite the crazy, sick world that we live in. Purple haired fierce independence is better than bleached blonde, bulimic and breast implants, even though everything we see on TV and magazines tells us otherwise.
I hardly EVER make comments, especially on personal issues. I'm the mother of 2 very beautiful wonderful women who are in their late 30's. I say this because they were in HS when body piercing, tattoos and Goth look was just starting to get very popular. My girls had beautiful red hair. The kind you can't get in a bottle. Anyway, they both played with hair colors. My lesson from that was pick your battles. They made good grades, had part time jobs, treated their parents with respect. Hair does grow out, but respect and values are what makes a kid!! Let her have this rebellion, tell her you love her, and know that parents since the beginning of time has worried about their kids! You will survive this, too!!
Your lovely daughter had the sense to only dye a wee bit of the end of her hair. That is fine. A wee bit of rebellion without of wasting months of regrowing. In the grand scheme of the world, this os ok. Is your child healthy? Go with that. My child is back living with me, chronically ill. Count each little daily blessing.
Hair? Bah! My kids and I all tried dying our hair blond once and it turned out orange. Oh well. We love looking at those photos and laughing. But I'm with you about being so affected by what's happening in the world. I'm not sure any of it is new, it's just so "in your face" these days, you can't escape it. I fluctuate between trying to hide my head in the sand and flaring up in indignation. It's exhausting.
If you dye your hair purple first, she won't want to do hers anymore! Small sacrifice, and you'll no doubt look fabulous...
Thank you for writing your blog. Totally addictive in a nice way. Jj pragmaticpatchwork.com
I hate the news too. But then I read about the men who chased down the guy who punched an old lady. And the guy who saved a woman and her dog from drowning. Stuff like that makes it better.
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