Okay, am I the only one that occasionally wants to be somebody else? I want to be Matthew. Not the real Matthew, but the glamorous pretend Matthew that we see in the movies. Self-confident, beautiful, worshipped by all who see him, independently wealthy, and doing a job I love. That's who I want to be.
I think this is called a bad hair day, but what's it called when you're bald?
There's nothing wrong with my life, except I'm bored. Bored with my life, bored with my job, bored with the decisions I've made. Bored with being an accomodater. Bored with the unrealistic expectations others have of me. You know what I mean...my own level of self-pity. Tired of the tire that's grown around my middle, and my bald head, and my swollen eyes and pudgy fingers and sore knees and eyes that can't see without glasses. Tired of the fact I don't have a college degree and tired of being in this same job, doing the same thing and cleaning up the same people's messes day after day. Tired of having to prove I'm right when no one else seems to have to ever prove I'm wrong. Tired of my clothes and my car and the Texas heat.
I want to be blond and drive a convertible and look just as good when I don't shave for a week. I want to laze around my private pool and have a staff that keeps my house spotless, and a gardener that raises organic food for me to eat and be a vegetarian. I want it to rain every day from 4 to 4:45 to cool down the earth and bring new bloom to the flowers. I want a cool breeze that blows all the time and trees with big leaves that rustle in the wind.
And, I want to be surrounded by people that accomodate me for a change. I want them to bring me ice cream that doesn't make me fat and lemonade that's just that perfect match of sweet and tart, and I want bulging muscles that I don't have to work for.
I want a nap.
But, I'm going to have to settle for my MP3 player and listening to soft music while I plug away at the things that give me enough money to keep us all fed and a roof over our heads, and only doing enough chores to keep us healthy and clean. I'm going to have to worry about my old dogs, and the fact that I didn't thaw anything for dinner, and the price of gas and groceries and electricity and what's going to happen when I need a new water heater.
But, jeez, I'd like to be Matthew.
Take care and I hope you haven't been so overwhelmed by the hum-drumity of life that you've lost the ability to dream that you're someone else. Those dreams are often what keeps us going through the things we have to do; and I hope you still have them, like me. Because as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day" and I'll have to drag myself out of bed and start over and do the same thing then that I'm going to do today. That's what real life is...doing what you have to do, cuz that's what you choose to do and it's what I secretly love. But, don't tell Matthew cuz he probably secretly wants to be me...
Lane
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11 comments:
I'm with ya! I've just had one of those "I'm tired of holding up the world it makes my shoulders HURT" weeks. Well, maybe I'm not done yet, I'm still whiney. Keep plodding along, it's all good.
I thought it was just me that sees the hum drum of life raising kids and keeping a family happy. Not even happy with my new dog - I miss the old ones terribly! I know there is another new day ahead of me with new smiles that make more laugh lines on my face but a new day just the same. Lisa
Oh, you are WAY more interesting than Matthew! I don't even follow his blog (does he even have a blog - who cares!), whereas I get a thrill every time I see that you have posted. But, I know what you mean. Sometimes, I want to be beautiful and wealthy. The celebrity life I would possess changes, but no matter. It doesn't hurt to dream every once in a while.
Well, well, well.....there are those days, aren't there. I try to combat those feelings (not always successful) by realizing that the rich and glamorous life probably ain't all it's cracked up to be. If you have a lot of money, you have to work even harder to keep it. If you are beautiful you have to work even harder to keep it. As I read about Farrah's last hours it puts a lot into focus about the glamorous life for me. She sure hasn't had a get out of jail free card in her life. We are all a product of our decisions, good and bad. I have to concentrate on the good and forget the bad and look forward, or I will wallow in the pit a long time. That's what friendships are all about.....encouragement, support, love during these times of "wallowing" so that we can be supported during our times of wallowing. Hang in there.....love you as you are.....Becky
I think I wished to be 30 years younger again and with no tires around my middle and a soft wrinkleless face. That would be nice. LOL
I have to admit, Mathew is a cutie. I think it is his smile. But you are way more interesting, blogging about your quilting, your daughter and your life. Karen
You sound like (drum roll, please) a parent. Smile. That's an honorable calling and with it comes aging and with that becoming wiser. What you put out to the universe is what you get back.....so dream. Trish
Thanks for the the fun post and smile. I don't want to be anyone else....I have worked to hard to get to where I am....like right now, reading blog posts and smiling....lol MaryMM
Lane, we love you just as you are. I don't think Matthew would be as good of a friend to us as you have been. Of course if you still want to be him remember--he was walking around naked in his house there in Austin and someone called to complain. The police went by and he was almost arrested for indecent exposure. So even with his good looks someone thought he wasn't so good looking. 8>)
Camelot? Wouldn't that abe nice. Hang in there--change the things you can and accept the things you can't. Life could be a lot worse--right? Barb
I just love your way of writing. We can all relate. Yes, many days I am so tired of all that my life is these days. Camelot would be wonderful, but maybe something would still be missing for those of us who are dreamers.
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