My treatise on fear

Sometimes I wonder what makes a day a bad day. I think that the ladies refer to it as a bad hair day, when for no explicable reason, you're just in a bad mood. I'm bald as an egg on top and keep what I have on the sides clipped close, so I can't blame it on bad hair.

But, there has to be some explanation. Is it hormonal? Is it chemical? Is it something I ate that upset my digestion? Too much iron in my blood? Too little? Too much sugar, or salt, or a low bank balance?

Or is it the constant state of fear that we are forced to live our lives in.

But, what do we have to fear?

Well, the news right now is adult politicians acting like misbehaved children, a child being sprayed with pepper spray for misbehaving (can we flood the capital with pepper spray? and if we do, will it make the politicians behave?), the possibility that government might shut down (whatever that actually means), the stripping away of the right to a good public education, and the fact that the only people that can get a news bite are the ones with the stupidest things to say. Oh, and lest we forget the preacher that burned the koran and started an uprising AND DIDN'T GET ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC ENDANGERMENT because it was within his right to free expression. But, it isn't within my right to freely express my marriage because I'm a guy that loves another guy.

Idiocy, thy name is current affairs.

With all that on the news, how I am I supposed to tell my 13 year old that she needs to act more grown up and take responsibility for herself. What am I supposed to say when she wises up and responds that grownups don't have to act like grownups, so why should she?

And, then let's add to that the expectation that we save for our retirement as well as funding the promise of social security. And the way that we're being basically forced to put that money in the stockmarket so that we can be fleeced out of a third of our savings about every 10 years. Or, the fact that we can't sell our houses, even if we want to upgrade, and if we do sell, we can't get a new mortgage because the bankers took all the money out of the banks and gave it to themselves. Or the price of gasoline that changes without justification, except to put more money into the pockets of the speculators that already have almost all of the money.

So, if there's plenty of stuff to keep me living in fear and if fear puts me in a bad mood, then what determines whether a bad mood will result in a bad day? And, how are there days that aren't bad days.

I don't know. But, I am getting pretty sure about one thing. The reason we look back at the 50's and the 70's as the "good ole days" isn't because things were any better. I think it's because we thought we were invincible for a while then. And, we want to feel invincible again.

And, everywhere we turn, there's somebody trying to make us feel vulnerable and afraid.

So, I keep sewing and knitting, creating frantically in avoidance (sort of the opposite of Madame DeFarge who knitted, frantic with glee). And, I keep trying to pass down my values to the next generation.

Because I'd rather that my epitaph be that I created all the good I could, than for it to be that I tried to make myself feel better by making others feel worse.

And, those are my thoughts on why there is so much fear. In the words of Paul Harvey, "Good day".



JoAnne said...

Since my husband is on his way to a deployement in Afghanistan, I am so upset by the Fanatic in Florida. I won't even mention his name b/c he is such an egomaniac, but what really gets me? Not only is he not arrested, but the Federal Gov't, despite having no money, has had to spend well over six figures to protect him??!! Meanwhile, despite my husband putting his life on the line, he probably won't get paid!

In the Anne of Green Gables Books, Anne referrs to a bad day as a "Jonah Day." I guess it is good that neither of us have been swallowed by a whale, right?

Amy said...

I blame our politicians on bad discipline and being selfish.the children were raised in the 30's-40's had discipline and taught different things. children today are being taught to always be in the "me" moment,and living beyond their means.frugal is a dirty word..it is sickening that our government officials get lifetime benefits while military families are in the poverty level..I respect and honor our servicemen/women.but most people work so their families don't have to get food stamps and the such.. but they go off to another country to fight for us and innocent people to get crap for pay..as for your marriage,I feel my GOD has loved us enough to allow us to make our own choices, nobody else should care who you love,give your home,car,whatever you may have to.As far as your daughter, raise her to be honest,hard working and selfless,and she will turn out ok.there are parents out there who are too worried about their phone apps.and hand their child a phone or video game to keep from having to take total care to them.sorry if I offend anyone but they had to make a choice to be offended.keep your head up,and fear is the unknown.ya wanna know what I fear? that some of these awful raised children will someday have control of my S.S. let me die before then.keep sewing and love to the fullest.Amy

Cynthia L. said...

This is indeed a time to be fearful. Big runs the secutrity division of a high level federal prison and has been told she will have to come to work without pay if the govt. shuts down. The prison must be kept running to keep people safe, yet it will be done at no pay.

I worry that something bad will happen to her while she is at work and I will be left with nothing because the government, and many other people, do not recognize us as a couple. The sad thing is, we have been together longer than most straight people. We are good, hard working, honest people and we are thrown aside like trash.

Thank you for sharing.

Elizabeth said...

It is indeed hard not to be afraid these days. They say ignorance is bliss. If only it were that simple. I sew a lot too. Every second I get because it is the best therapy I can think of. I think that independent of all those who behave badly, those who have values should still pass them down. You're doing a good thing with Sydney.

xo -El

lw said...

If the government has a shutdown, my husband and I will be furloughed without pay starting in May (and he's supposed to be laid off in June, so it would be good if we could keep both paychecks coming in at least until then.) We've got savings, but we were hoping to retire someday.

I was also deeply disturbed by the use pepper spray on a 2nd grader. I can't imagine what the two grown men who sprayed him were thinking.

Megan said...

Lane - because I don't live in the USA I don't know some of the specific references you've used in your blog post today. However, I wanted to write in encouragement anyway.

I do find it odd that some days 'it all seems too hard' (or too frightening), yet the day before and the day after, the world is essentially the same place and we experience a fabulous, happy, joyful day.

On the 'bad' days, chocolate can only do so much! (No wonder I'm so overweight. LOL)

In the end, I try to focus on being the best version of me that I can be, grit my teeth and get through the bad days, and quietly celebrate the joy that I find in everyday living (family, friends, creative pursuits, etc) on the good ones.

Sydney, Australia

Barb H said...

Government through fear is the way those in power (the uber wealthy) try to control the rest of us and get us to do what they want. And it works! Why else would conservative talk radio/tv continue to be so unbelievably popular! Fear. Don't give into it--fight it as best you can and work to restore intelligence into our government instead of fear.

ql said...

It's all very frustrating. The extreme right keeps talking about less government except when it comes to our personal lives, then they want to regulate who we can marry, what kind of birth control we use, how we raise our children, and what religion we practice. Frankly, I wish they would concentrate more on food inspections, tightening the controls on the banksters and building bridges.

I visit your blog several times a week and really enjoy your work. Things will get better. Baby steps.