My treatise on fear

Sometimes I wonder what makes a day a bad day. I think that the ladies refer to it as a bad hair day, when for no explicable reason, you're just in a bad mood. I'm bald as an egg on top and keep what I have on the sides clipped close, so I can't blame it on bad hair.

But, there has to be some explanation. Is it hormonal? Is it chemical? Is it something I ate that upset my digestion? Too much iron in my blood? Too little? Too much sugar, or salt, or a low bank balance?

Or is it the constant state of fear that we are forced to live our lives in.

But, what do we have to fear?

Well, the news right now is adult politicians acting like misbehaved children, a child being sprayed with pepper spray for misbehaving (can we flood the capital with pepper spray? and if we do, will it make the politicians behave?), the possibility that government might shut down (whatever that actually means), the stripping away of the right to a good public education, and the fact that the only people that can get a news bite are the ones with the stupidest things to say. Oh, and lest we forget the preacher that burned the koran and started an uprising AND DIDN'T GET ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC ENDANGERMENT because it was within his right to free expression. But, it isn't within my right to freely express my marriage because I'm a guy that loves another guy.

Idiocy, thy name is current affairs.

With all that on the news, how I am I supposed to tell my 13 year old that she needs to act more grown up and take responsibility for herself. What am I supposed to say when she wises up and responds that grownups don't have to act like grownups, so why should she?

And, then let's add to that the expectation that we save for our retirement as well as funding the promise of social security. And the way that we're being basically forced to put that money in the stockmarket so that we can be fleeced out of a third of our savings about every 10 years. Or, the fact that we can't sell our houses, even if we want to upgrade, and if we do sell, we can't get a new mortgage because the bankers took all the money out of the banks and gave it to themselves. Or the price of gasoline that changes without justification, except to put more money into the pockets of the speculators that already have almost all of the money.

So, if there's plenty of stuff to keep me living in fear and if fear puts me in a bad mood, then what determines whether a bad mood will result in a bad day? And, how are there days that aren't bad days.

I don't know. But, I am getting pretty sure about one thing. The reason we look back at the 50's and the 70's as the "good ole days" isn't because things were any better. I think it's because we thought we were invincible for a while then. And, we want to feel invincible again.

And, everywhere we turn, there's somebody trying to make us feel vulnerable and afraid.

So, I keep sewing and knitting, creating frantically in avoidance (sort of the opposite of Madame DeFarge who knitted, frantic with glee). And, I keep trying to pass down my values to the next generation.

Because I'd rather that my epitaph be that I created all the good I could, than for it to be that I tried to make myself feel better by making others feel worse.

And, those are my thoughts on why there is so much fear. In the words of Paul Harvey, "Good day".

Lane