2/23/12

Battling the bubble

Thanks everyone for understanding the end of my difficult day yesterday. I woke feeling better physically and mentally.

But, I wanted to take some time to talk about how I'm feeling. I know that depression affects a lot of people and I can't speak to what it is like for them, but I think I can illustrate what it is like for me.


Depression for me is like an inflating bubble that blocks my path of real life.


Sometimes, I can fight the bubble...



And, beat it back into it's box.


But, sometimes I can't.


Sometimes, I have to sit and study it. But, I have to make sure I don't sit and study for too long. Real life awaits my arrival.


The therapist says that depression is anger turned inward. For me, that's generally anger that I hold in because I just don't think expressing it will do any good. Doesn't stop me from feeling it, but it's pointless to express it, and it sometimes ends up turned inward toward me.



What I'm trying to learn is to climb over the bubble, acknowledging that it's there, but refusing to let it further impede my progress.




And, I can get back to my real life, already in progress.


Today, I'm climbing


Lane

16 comments:

Mariella said...

I like your analogy of depression. I never thought of it as a form of anger but I really think that you are correct. I've been having a bad patch lately. Now it's time to climb that danged bubble..... Thanks for the post.

Becky said...

Great illustration! Depression can be such a pesky devil, can't it. Looks like you have some good tools to deal with it....thanks for sharing!

Elizabeth said...

Living with depression sucks. Plain and simple. There is such a stigma about it because it is an internal illness. You can't see it and there is no one-size-fits-all treatment, like with a broken bone. And you never know what you're going to get from one day to the next.

Love your illustrations. HOpe today is better than yesterday.

xo -E

Andi's English Attic said...

Great sketches. Mine is a deep black box. Have you ever thought of taking a quilting needle to that bubble? Hope you're feeling better soon. xx

Shevvy said...

I love your illustrations, they work really well. I am so scared of facing my anger but I know it is something I have to do. Its my challenge to myself over the next few months.

Riet said...

HI Lane. So good to hear from you. I am sorry to read that you are feeling burnt out. You point it out so very well. I have had a burn out about 20 years ago. Went to a shrink for 5 years. I got better and went on with my life but whenever I have problems or very busy times I get down again. I know I have to take a rest for at least a week to get back on track again.
Take care my friend.
Riet

Sharon said...

When I saw the title my first thought was oooh nooo there is a big bubble in the beautiful new carpet.. But depression is a big bubble sitting in the middle of our lives.. Great illustration of depression.. I think right now I am dancing with my bubble.. Hope yours bursts and you feel more like yourself ... Get sewing it always is my refuge from the big D..

Pauline said...

Atta Boy!

Megan said...

Mine is a black oozing mud that starts at the top of my head and works its way into every nook and cranny of my brain. I need to find a plug hole in the back of my head and let it drain out, not settle inside.

Megan
Sydney, Australia

Andra Gayle said...

Nicely expressed. I have never thought of it in quite that way. It certainly makes sense though. Struggling a great deal with it myself. Keep on climbing & quilting!

Frog Quilter said...

I just fought the dark beast in December. Went back on my meds and feel so much better. Depression is ugly and horrible. I hope you get better soon.

Quilting always helps me.

Cathi said...

Ugh, depression. I think many more of suffer from it than we know. When I get down, all I do is read & sleep..which I can do because I'm retired. I usually have to give myself a good talking to in order to drag myself out. Meds also help, but don't solve the problem that is bringing the depression on. Hang in there, kiddo.

lw said...

It sounds too simple to work, but what pulled me out of my worst depression was making myself write down five things I was grateful for at the end of every day. It made me start to see things from that angle-- gratitude for my life and all of the weirdness. The bubble is still around, but I tend to go around it-- with the bridges built by being grateful for the little good things in my life.

Anonymous said...

When I first noticed my depression, I went to a couple different doctors, getting a variety on pills, none of which worked. I quit that and then just started talking to myself, trying to figure out the reason why. I like your pictures, they make sense to me. Good luck on your journey. Thanks for sharing.
cindy

Coloradolady said...

This was really good and made a lot of sense. climbing that bubble is not easy! I know.

Frog Quilter said...

Just checking on you, hoping you are getting better. HUGS.