A very non-quilty post...

for a quilt blog that is.

This one is all about me and what I'm feeling. So, if you're on the hunt for great quilting, come back tomorrow. I'm expecting to feel more like myself.

I had the most negative day yesterday. I guess it's only to be expected after a couple of weeks of manic feelings. And, I couldn't shake it.

First thing that happened was that I opened the newsletter from the LQS that asked me to teach and there was their class schedule. And, no me. There is a beginning quilting class, but nothing about more advanced machine quilting. And, they didn't contact me, even though I gave them at least two ways to contact me. I don't know. But, I feel that even if they decided not to have me teach the class, I should have heard something. It's been a couple of months. Anyway, I knew that there was a chance that they just weren't ready for what I have to offer. I was asking them to come out of their sewing machine store mentality and more into a quilt shop mentality. They've recently been bought out, but the staff stayed on and they're not really changing as much as I think they could. Their focus is really at the beginner level. Introductory classes. Anyway, no matter what, how logical, whatever reason, whether I was justified to feel it or not, my feelings were hurt.

And, then I had a team lunch with my peers and I sat on my side of the table and every time my mouth opened to speak, something negative came out. I felt like I was having an out of body experience and my mouth was saying things I was not in control of.

And, I was angry all afternoon. Fortunately, I was working on a document, so the rest of my afternoon was spent quietly. But when I opened it this morning to keep going, I had a few sentences I had to delete due to their "expressive" language.

When I got home, Sydney didn't even say hello and that was her first mistake. Because even though I was feeling pretty calm, I had gotten a notification of another grade that had fallen to an unacceptable level and when I opened her grades to check it out, there was another one, acceptable by just one point. That would make 4 and that's too many.

I did pretty good at that, tho. I did get angry and I did get a little bit loud, but not too much. And, after that initial outburst, talked to her and explained exactly what I was upset about and how discouraging it is to work as hard as I am right now and then open my personal email and first thing I see is notification of bad grades. She started out pretty begrudging on that and Rob came in and explained to her how I'd gone from being upset and loud to being very "discussing" and explaining and talking about my feelings. After that, she got into the spirit of it and for the rest of the night, there was just talking and laughing and Rob put on some funny TV and we all cheered for the contestants and laughed and had a good time.

So, today, I'm feeling better. Much more positive. Not quite so manic. But, I gotta tell you, I really like myself when I'm singing along with the TV and dancing while I cook supper and chatty and positive. But, that's a hard thing to measure up to every day. Day after damn day.

And, I guess that's why some days are good days and some days are bad days and the real test of which one you had yesterday is how it all ended, right? And, while mine was part bad, it both started and ended good, so I'm going to call it a good day. With a rough spot in the middle.

And, today, I'm working from home because I have an appt. this morning and they're coming to measure the house for carpet this afternoon (whooheeee!) Now if we can just pick a color.

My first home chore, tho was to get the black marks out of Sydney's white shirt. I can either accomplish that or I have to take her to buy another one and I'm just not feeling like clothes shopping after school this week. I found out day before yesterday she needed a dress by saturday for a concert and she tried her dress on and thank goodness, she's outgrown it. Secretly I never liked it. But, she did and that's what counts. So, she's wearing her black skirt and white blouse, which means I did some major stain fighting. I am ashamed of the concoction of chemicals I released down my drain this morning. We are very chemical conscious. But, I got the black marks out. Hah!

Have a great one. Lane


Glenn Dragone said...

Sorry to read about your bad day. Boy, when they happen they seem to cluster bad events as the day goes on.

As they say, tomorrow will be better!

Tanit-Isis said...

I had a really crabby day on Monday---I was stressed about a lot of things and really just generally unpleasant to be around. I think recognizing is the first step, and the next is calming down, taking control, and redirecting so you don't take it out on the innocent. It sounds like you did all those things, so good for you! It took me until after the kids were in bed to realize I needed to just relax and let go---I grabbed a book and read for a while and was much better, but not really in time to fix things with the family.

Also, I think you're justified in being irate with the quilt place, for not letting you know their decision if nothing else. Blerg.

As for kids grades... Well, all I can say is I know. I know, I know. I try to meet with my kids' teachers at least once a month to keep on top of things. And I still end up having plenty of talks, especially with my oldest. I don't know what we're going to do when they get to high school... :P

Linda in TX said...

I'm a manic manic person -unfortunately the only one in a family of depressives. So I'm expected to be up and positive all the time (I think you're in this boat). When I have a bad day, nobody really wants to listen because I am the care taker, not the taken care of. So I care, Lane - and your bad day stunk - and I would take your class any time any day anywhere. (and I to live near Houston so I can make that happen) Phooey on that LQS for missing such a great opportunity to have you teach!

Megan said...

Disappointing not to have the opportunity to teach but obviously you can accept the decision and can see that, at this stage, your advanced class was not necessarily a good fit for that particular's shop's schedule.
That doesn't explain the shop owner's rudeness. There's no excuse for behaving discourtesously. I'm disappointed that you've been on the receiving end of it.

Sydney, Australia

qltmom9 said...

February can be blah even in Texas? I dumped chemicals in attempts to save two pair of dd's pants today! I hope it gets better SOON.

Anonymous said...

I had a day like that too. Went to a lecture and one guy had a cell phone ringing and ringing. Ignored all requests to shut it off. And then he was snacking so loudly. And then at the end he asked the stupidest question, showing he hadn't listened at all and had no interest in the subject of the lecture, he wanted a shortcut. Could have choked the guy. When I don't take enough anti-depressant, I get that way.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to manners? That LQS asked you about teaching, then sends you a class schedule without a class taught by you. To me, that's rude. They could have called you and told you that they couldn't fit it in, but were still interested. I don't understand how some businesses are staying open. Anway, it sounds like you are doing better and 'that's a good thing'. Take care,

lw said...

That fabric store is really missing out-- if they had any idea of how many of us would love to take your class!

As bad as your day was, you owned it, and you have been very self-aware and aware of your effect on your family. That's huge. If you can see it, you can fix it. And it sounds like you did.

Emma said...

Sorry about the bad day...we all get them, and the important thing is that you are feeling better PLUS you get to work at home. :)

As for stains, I have run into very few that don't come out with liquid dish detergent. In fact, only one that hasn't, and it was pine sap mashed into a polyester dress.

I've gotten out ground-in dark chocolate in a white shirt, dried blood in a turquoise shirt (week or so old), and when my husband dropped his new white shirt in the puddle in the parking lot, I got all of THAT out as well.

Put the item needing to be cleaned into your kitchen sink, run cold water, and apply liquid dish detergent to the stain. Rub it in, rinse out, repeat until it's out. Works like a charm, and a lot less expensive or chemical-y than most stain removers! Plus you always have it lying around.