11/14/11

Sunny, with a chance of angry

This weekend was the wierdest emotional roller coaster!

I can't always tell where my anger comes from. This weekend, it was definitely all about me being angry at me. Me. Being mad at me. For being me.

For needing to rescue every cracked and chipped and broken thing and try to give it a second life. Holding onto it and trying to glue the bits back together. Cramming every space up with useless junk. Gotta keep it all. The guy with the most crap wins.

And, at some point, that just cracks wide open. And, when it does, I start throwing junk. Get rid of it, reduce it to small enough that it can go in the trash. Why am I keeping it? Why did I buy it? Why is it in my way? Why was I willing to move it 37 times over the summer because every where I went, there was my crap. In the way.

And, now it's gone. Went out with the trash this morning.

Well, at least a little bit of it. Everything I could cram into one weekly trash pickup.

But, you know what? That trash truck comes by every week. And, I've got more stuff that needs to GO!

Is this a leftover of fall cleaning?

Poor Rob and Sydney. When I get like this, they just stay out of the way and do their best to smile. And, I do my best to stay away from them because I am very volatile and prone to snapping things I mean to just say.

This, too, shall pass. But, in the meantime, if I could just get to my clothes closet while I'm in this mood. I mean, really, if I haven't worn it in two years, I'm probably never going to wear it again. Am I the only one that tells myself those jeans will fit again?

I know this is some emotional baggage about letting stuff go. Letting go of the broken and the memories. Looking backward instead of forward. Having to get angry to get things done. All this is buried deep down. Or, maybe it's brain chemicals. Or, maybe just the full moon.

Anyway, wish I could keep the letting stuff go part without the getting mad at myself for having it part. Ain't it the way, tho.

Confusious say: "Emotions, like coins, come with two sides."

Oh, and while I'm griping, what's up with not being able to see my glasses? I dropped them in the yard on Saturday and had to go get Sydney to come out and help me find them. That is just old age making fun of me and I don't like it. ;-)

Take care and have a great Monday. Lane

11 comments:

Impera_Magna said...

(((Lane)))

Hazel said...

I hear you I just finished my closet ,I now have 45 empty hangers and two big bags to be donated .To be honest I got tired of listening to hubby complain about how his shirts are all wrinkled because I was taking over his part of the closet .We went and 2 bought 8 foot shelves because are food storage area in the basement is over flowing complain ,complain he'll want those 35 bottles of shampoo one day LOL .

Lucy @ Charm About You said...

This made me laugh!! I so know how you feel, I go through phases like this. I think it's good for you. Cleansing. The mood just helps spur you on to get things done! :)

Leah Day said...

Having just recently gone through my grandmother's house after she move permanently to TX, and sorting through 3 houses worth of dishes, 10 gallons of clothes washing detergent, and enough clothes to clothe what felt like ALL of NC, I can say throwing out excess junk on a regular basis is absolutely essential.

Try this: instead of beating yourself up, decide today to change - to keep less, and to throw something away on a daily basis.

Change is easy - it's making the decision to change that's hard.

Becky said...

Yikes!!! There must be something in the water.....I'm experiencing the same thing!

Coloradolady said...

Thank Goodness it is just not me!! I have had a fit today too. Too much junk. Too much moving junk here and there. Too much too small clothes that I doubt I will ever wear again since I got on the scale this morning and gained another 10 pounds. WHAT THE HEY!

Seriously. It is a mess. I counted 40 did you hear me {40} vintage sheets this weekend in a closet...now how many quilts do you think I could make out of 40 sheets?? How many do you think I have started out of the sheets??? Yes....that would be a "0" on the start!

I think I need help....but don't know what kind!! It is not you....we are all in it together...and the thought of dragging out Christmas decorations is enough to make me yell again!!!!

Uggghhhh.....I think I will walk outside a bit..at least the yard is not cluttered with junk.

Michelle said...

I hear ya, and I know exactly how you feel. Sending hugs!

Laurie said...

You're not alone Lane. *hugs* I've been going through this "declutter EVERYTHING" for the past few months.

Maybe it's a mid-life thing, maybe it's a pms thing, maybe it's a "the dog is walking sideways so I guess I'll clean out the pantry thing"... I don't know! But as long as we don't kill anyone, and we're happy with the results... I say go for it!

Are you by any chance looking to get rid of old cotton shirts or fabrics you don't want anymore? *giggle*

Pauline said...

Possession of "things" is a misnomer, you don't own them, they OWN you! Look at the time, space and care they demand. Life is so much more simple when we are picky about what we collect.

lw said...

I've got something of the same problem for a different reason-- my daughter's family are living here and my sewing room stuff is scattered all over the place. There's no room for anything else. And we're having guests at Christmas, so all of the stuff that has no where to go has to go offsite-- maybe rent a storage unit? Yikes.

Sharon said...

hang in there Lane.. Leah is on the right track.. If it upsets you so much. throw one thing out at a time.. The garbage truck comes once or twice a week in most areas.. Add a little something each week.. Get back to sewing it calms the nerves.. have a cheery day..