9/5/14

A walk in the yard

This isn’t gardening season in the south.  It’s hot.  And, the plants show it.  And, because it’s so hot and sticky and thick with mosquitoes, it’s hard to get out and clean up dead leaves and weeds.  But, this weekend, as I was stressing more and more about my mistakes, I realized that I needed to get out in the yard.  And, with the rain we’ve gotten recently, it’s looking really good.  So, I lathered up with bug repellant and spent a couple of shady, early morning hours in the garden, ending with a washtub full of dead things and trimmings and weeds and trash. 

It was wonderfully relaxing.

And, I got to see this month’s blooms.  I’m lucky enough to have something in bloom all year round…except a couple weeks in January.

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Yellow shrimp plant, just getting started.

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Plumbago and one last head of phlox.

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A few last minute orange daylilies.

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Esperanza, a hot summer bloomer all over town.  I grew this one from seed and it’s very small still. 

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Boston fern in a shady spot.  I stuck a root in a pot in the spring and this is what it has turned into. 

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Caladium don’t mind the heat, as long as they’re in the shade.

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These ferns froze to the dirt last year and are back in full glory.  I wasn’t sure they’d come back after being left outside in temps in the 20’s.

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School has started and my nice kid is around her peers again.  And, she hears what they say about their relationships with their parents.  And, she believes them.  So, she comes home and tries some of that with me.  And, I can’t get her to understand that what those kids are saying is how they wish it was, not necessarily how it is.  And, it’s never going to be that way with me.  I’m in a tough spot where I need to counsel her on the amount of makeup she’s wearing.  And, I need to temper that with recognition of the amount of homework she’s bringing home.  And, which one is most important.  And, if I bring up the one, will I hurt the other.  It’s hard being a parent. 

Farewell Joan Rivers. 

Everybody have a great Friday.  Lane

8 comments:

Laura said...

The makeup thing is a stage. It washes off. She doesn't have tattoos and body piercings, so I wouldn't worry too much about the makeup!

Anonymous said...

I agree, don't worry about makeup. It is a thing that she should be doing now. Makeup and jewelry.

Emily Bowers said...

I can't believe you have lilies still in bloom. Mine look horrible and we run a watering system.

I also agree on the make-up. It is a phase. However, my Dad was rather clever in finding a way to fight me on it. He would say, "When I was in school, only the ugly girls had to wear make-up to cover up their ugliness." Well, that does something to your psyche. Particularly when Dad turns all the drama he lives with, raising 3 girls-back on you. Eventually it worked. Today, he has daughters who rarely "dress-up" for anything and who all have their hair up in clips (it drives him nuts that I don't show-off my hair more). He tells us that it wasn't his plan for us to go to the opposite extreme. He was horrified that we would never get married and he would be "responsible" for us his entire life. The best thing you can do for Syd, as her Dad, is assure her that beauty comes from with-in and the last thing she wants to do is look like a clown. Girls get tons of confidence and reassurance from their Dads--at least they should. It saddens me when I hear otherwise. My Dad ruled my life with an iron fist, as a child. He's yet to ever hear me say a curse word and stands as someone I respect whole-heartedly today because he's a very good human being. Mom, on the other hand--different role.

Susan Entwistle said...

I am envious of your beautiful landscaping. I am not, however, envious of your task of parenting a teenage girl. Been there. Done that. (And the good news is...) Survived to tell about it. (And, miraculously, so did she). You're doing just fine. Sorry to say its gonna get worse before it gets better. My best advice is pick your battles thoughtfully. One person can't win them all. Each of you need to celebrate victories. Look at her friends. If she's wearing the same makeup they are think about it in terms of self expression and acceptance of her peers. And do both of you a favor--take her to a dept store (the.Mac counter at Nordstrom would be a start). and let them make her up tastefully and teach her some technique. She'll accept critique from a makeup professional way easier than from Dad.

lw said...

My oldest daughter started wearing goth makeup and clothes when she was twelve; I drew the line at tattoos and piercings and managed to keep them off the parts of her I could see (to keep her employable.) It was a phase, and she's as lovely a young woman as you could want.

Such a pretty yard!

Anonymous said...

my dad never said a word about anything like that. Without a word from him, I knew he respected me and loved me. Still miss him.

Rebecca Grace said...

First: If I went out for a walk in my own back yard, the only thing I'd get would be dog poop on my shoe since Lulu the Terrible has ripped up my flowers and destroyed the shrubberies. But I love to throw the tennis ball for my dogs and watch them tear off across the barren yard like joy personified, all for an old tennis ball! Dogs are great reminders of what is and isn't important.

As for teenagers and makeup: I cringe when I see pictures of myself from those days and I do wonder why my parents let me go out looking like that. There is such powerful peer pressure and a lot of the makeup stuff is about not standing out in a school full of all the other teenaged girls who are also wearing too much makeup. Then there are the messages coming at these kids from everywhere in the media on top of the pressure from kids they know. You're probably right to talk more about the homework than the makeup, though. The makeup washes off in an instant, but a good education lasts forever. She's a good kid, so you and Rob must be doing something right!

karrarist said...

I worked with troubled youth in Addictions as a counsellor, and I must tell you, your daughter sounds like a breath of fresh air. I wonder how much of her creative expression comes from you? Your canvas is fabric- her canvas in this moment is her face and fashion sense :)