I think I found the spirit of Christmas this morning.
I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff, and the real spirit of Christmas is about letting go of my own stuff for just a while...not focusing on me or how I feel, but rather focusing on other people, just for a season. Picking people that are special to me and giving them the gift of focusing on them for a season. Focusing on giving them the best time I can offer; the best gift, the best meal, the most peaceful day.
I mean, that's the focus of all those holiday movies we weep over every year, right? And, me? I've been selfish and wallowing in my hurt feelings and missing out on all the really cool stuff that's happening.
Stuff like watching Sydney come up with gifts for Rob. Not hand prints or finger painting, or pages out of coloring books or popsicle stick ashtrays, not that there's anything wrong with those gifts except that she's outgrown the giving of them. But, she's really focused on giving something of herself and thinking about who Rob is and what he would like. And, knowing she's doing the same thing for me.
And, knowing that I'm doing the same thing for her.
And, knowing that whatever gift I give, it's not nearly as important as the time I spent thinking about the recipient. And, knowing that Rob and Sydney will look past whatever I give them and see the caring that lies behind it. Even when Sydney opens that box of underwear. She'll know that I was thinking about her looking like a teenager in the locker room and won't care that you can't spend Christmas day playing with underwear.
That's the meaning of Christmas. It's time, not money. It's thinking about someone, not rushing to get them whatever it takes to keep the gift giving accounts in balance.
What better gift can I give than to think about someone during the holidays. And, then letting them know I thought about them during the holidays. That's all it takes to make me happy.