So proud of me

This is my hexie progress over the trip.  These were all basted and I just assembled. 


What a brown picture on that crocheted rug.  I really have to watch out for my backgrounds when I take pictures of this quilt because they really need a vibrant background to show up properly.  


Or, maybe this is just going to be a very drab quilt.  Hmmmmm.  I’ll have to do something about that.  Blue, maybe?

But, that’s not why I’m so proud today.  To explain, I have to go back about four years…and we relived this story over dinner tuesday night because I was there with some of the same folks and they remembered it. 

Four years ago, I went to meetings, just like the ones I attended this week.  And, I stood in the corner with my arms crossed like I was delegated to hold up the wall and it was interpreted as stand offish, even though, when it was just the small group of us, I wasn’t like that at all.  It was only when we brought in our vendors that I got all goofy.  Really, it wasn’t stand offish.  I’d never been in that kind of a situation.  Ever.  And, what I was really doing was watching and learning how to be. 

At my next round of meetings, I was in another state.  That time, I was off the wall and talking, shaking hands, smiling, directing people, answering questions.  It was the first time I spoke into a microphone in my life.  Totally different than I was four years ago. 

I hadn’t done meetings like this with the Indiana group since that time I leaned against the wall and I think I really blew a couple of people away.  I worked the registration table, talked to people, shook hands, answered questions.  All the things I observed and learned to do.  And, I followed very well.  My boss would be talking and he would look at me and I would either nod yes or no to confirm whether what he was saying was correct. 

And, I had great fun. 

Just a little but, I have to attibute my ability to attend quilt guild and quilting bee and to teach last year to that one week in Indiana four years ago, when I leaned against the wall and learned how to function in a group of strangers. 

And, I’m still learning.  And, I’m so proud of that.  This week, I was around a couple of people who found out they had significant health issues last year and they made changes that affected that in positive ways.  I was really inspired to hear their stories.  And, mine isn’t too different.  I’m working on a crippling shyness and fear that I will do the wrong thing.  I want so bad to make sure that Sydney knows it’s okay to make mistakes.  But, learn from them and try not to make the same mistakes again.  Do better.  The earth rarely opens up and swallows you when you screw up. 

And, if it does, that’s just not your lucky day, is it? 

Be well.  The house sitter arrives tonight and tomorrow, we leave for vacation.  Yay!  7 days in the mountains.



Anonymous said...

Hope you have a great time on your vacation.

Laura said...

Good for you! People who aren't shy don't realize how much effort it takes to interact with others sometimes and how hard it is to come up with something to say.

Linda K said...

How wonderful, to see how successful your observations and practice of appropriate social behaviors have been! Sounds like you own that persona, now!
Have a great vacation. I look forward to hearing about the cabin, the antique stores, the food, Sydney's horse experiences, and other adventures!

lw said...

Your change is a significant achievement! I'm proud of you, too.

How about red instead of blue?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! You do have a lot to be proud of. Elle