I started writing a post about people that were pissing me off. Hey, it's my blog and it reflects my life, which isn't all Snow White whistling with the birds and bunnies while she cleans up after seven stinky, dirt-digging dwarves. And, believe me, there are several people, all working me at the same time and all trying to get me to do or feel what they want, instead of what I really want to do or feel.
But, as I wrote and got my emotions out in print where I could read them, I realized that there was something that was way more important to me than anybody that's trying to work their wiley ways on me.
Saturday morning, when I woke up, all excited and anticipating a great day, Rob was wrapped around me and kissed me on the back of the neck and whispered how proud he is of me for being able to teach the class; for not being afraid.
This one's for all the people that are trying to affect how I feel. NOTHING YOU WILL DO OR SAY WILL MEAN MORE TO ME THAN THAT ONE SINGLE MOMENT ON SATURDAY MORNING, BEFORE I EVEN GOT OUT OF BED. Don't even try. Cuz, even if I act like you're getting a reaction out of me, I can quickly forget you and take my mind back to that one important moment and feel what real peace and understanding are all about.
After three days of being on the edge of my emotions; after three days of people just poking at the bear, trying to get a reaction; after three days of doing my best to control how I interacted with people, that's the thing I'm going to focus on. That's the thing that's important to me.
Not Sydney's grades. Not my Mom being annoying about our visit. Not the guy from high school that thinks I'm a bad person because I won't talk about what it's like to be gay (if he wants to know, he can give it a try). Not the people at work that don't understand the importance of quality work.
Not even the dog that keeps wandering out of the sewing room with my sharpie, threatening to stain the new carpet (why isn't she interested in one of my water soluble pens???)
That one single moment on Saturday morning was more important than anything else. That's the moment I want to surround myself in the emotions of.
Sometimes, you have to find the moment you want to live in and lash out at anybody that tries to crap on it. Wrap the moment around you like a quilt. Feel safe in the cocoon of happy emotion.
Thank you, Rob. Even when I'm acting crazy, you give me what I need so I can remember what's really important to me.
I hope each of you has one just like Rob, even though I know he's one in a million. Somebody that understands how special you are, even when no one else acts like you're special.
So, a very negative post ended up being a very positive moment for me. Mostly because I looked at my week and found the important part and let all the rest go. Try it.
Oh, and next time I'm feeling really negative, can somebody send me a link to this post?