Carry on

I've been hesitant to write the last couple of days, because so many of my thoughts are about what happened in Boston.  Most of the bloggers I follow aren't blogging about what happened.  That makes me feel like maybe I'm the only one that's having trouble finding words this week.  But, lots of the bloggers I follow haven't posted in the last couple of days either, so maybe it's not just me.

Am I the only one that's feeling a little jittery?

By definition, a terrorist is someone that makes people afraid; terrified.  They hurt one person in hope of making a lot of people afraid.  And, it's effective...if your goal is to make a lot of people afraid. 

Theoretically, if you make enough people afraid, you can change a behavior. 

Theoretically, if you make people afraid enough, you can get them to lock themselves in their bathrooms, with their showers packed full of canned goods, refusing to come out until the Apocalypse. 

Yesterday, I heard a lady from Boston interviewed on the news and her comment was that she refuses to be afraid.  My first thought was about how courageous that is to say, right there, on site.

But, I wonder.  Is she really refusing to be afraid?  Or, is she refusing to be affected? 

I can't say that I'm not afraid, even with the thousands of miles between Boston and Austin.  . 

I don't control the emotions I feel and fear is an emotion.  I can't stop being afraid. 

But, I can refuse to be affected.  I can keep going to work and I can keep tending to my garden and I can keep making quilts and I can keep donating to service organizations.  I can keep talking to my family and letting them know every day, and every minute that I am here, I am loving them; just in case there is a time when I am not here and able to let them know. 

Over the last decade, I've learned that there's no shame in letting the terrorist be successful at making me afraid.  But, I have not let them have the pleasure of success at making me change my behavior.

For me, refusing to be afraid is a great thing, if you can do it.  But, what I think is really courageous is to be afraid and still do whatever it is you need to do.  Like a tenured fireman, rushing into a burning building.  A tenured fireman knows the danger.  And, they go in anyway.  What could possibly be more brave than that???

I guess I'm interested in how others are feeling.  Are you afraid?  Are you affected?  Have you locked yourself in your bathroom, refusing to come out? 

Are you carrying on?



Hazel said...

I think a lot of us have not posted about this because we just don't know what to think .I can't say I'm afraid but I do wonder what this world is coming to when innocent people can't go watch a race .Prays go out to these families who have been involved .

Seraphinalina said...

It's hard to find the words for the things that impact us the most. You've put some wonderful words together and I really and truly agree.

Shevvy said...

I grew up with the IRA London bombing campaign in the 70's and heard one go off from about 6 miles away in the 80's. the canary wharf bomb in the 90's was close enough to shake my house.
I learned you have to carry on. After 911 my Mum saw on the news how cheap flights to New York were and decided we should go. We ended up there inadvertently on thanksgiving weekend.
I remember going on the tube a few days after the 7/7 bombing and it was empty.
You can't ignore the possibilities of something bad happening but if you live your life assuming it will - you don't live your life!

Kathy in FL said...

I'll admit I'm afraid, but as the old saying goes, I will "be calm and carry on".

Bratling said...

Right now, there's so much going on in my life, that to be perfectly honest, Boston barely registered. My mother died two and a half weeks ago, and I'm now responsible for three siblings, my nieces, and my 90 year-old grandmother. My thoughts and prayers have been with the victims, of course, but right now, I have to continue to put one foot in front of another!

Becky said...

I share your feelings. I am a lot of things....appalled, angry, stunned, sad, heartbroken, and many more. However, I also know I would have been one of those running toward the wounded to do whatever possible. I have had to do that a couple of times before....somehow the danger recognition is by far outweighed by the urge to help someone in need. As far as changing how we live....we are planning to go to a NASCAR race in Richmond, so I guess we AREN'T!

Love you, buddy!

Coloradolady said...

Some days I feel like I'd rather not have to leave my house. Of course that is not an option so I try not to think to much about it. If I do, I drive myself nuts and my kids when I blow up their phones when I can't get them.

We are living in a very different world than when we grew up. The things I used to do, I would never allow my own to do today. It feels so unfair for the younger generation to have to grow up in the world we have today.

Yes, I am scared....but force that fear down to a safe level.

Samantha said...

My spouse and I discussed this very topic as the news was coming in about Boston. We are afraid. We want those we love to stay safe. We are not "big crowd" people anyway so it hasn't really affected our behavior. We will think twice about going to large "American institution" type events though, since those are the events that the terrorists tend to like to hit.

The Superbowl is on my bucket list, but really, I've been thinking twice about it for a few years now, just because I don't want to be there if some hate monger decides to blow people up.

Patricia said...

I am afraid, but more than anything I am confused. How can someone be that full of hate. Hate that propels them to put something in a bag that would hurt so indiscriminately . Certainly this isn't the first time such random hate has shown itself, but I continue to be confused. Am I going on, yes, I have no choice. But do I look at people a little more differently......yes!

JoAnne said...

I don't think I was affected too much by this attack. I'm not any more afraid than I was before. I don't think of myself as being anywhere that could be a target. I will tell you about an incident from the past that did affect me. We lived at Fort Hood back in the early 90s. It was our first duty assignment so I was in my early-mid twenties--still in a bit of the "invincible" phase of life. Anyway, the Luby's massacre happened right there in Killeen. Suddenly, the town I lived in was on the news. It was a few weeks later and we were in the mall in Austin at the food court. I remember thinking how busy it was and what would happen if someone came in shooting. This was long before Columbine or the other school shootings, and I remember feeling afraid. Now I think I feel like I can live my life as I normally do, or I can be afraid. I refuse to give someone that power over my life.

lw said...

I'm heartbroken over the deaths and injuries at the Boston Marathon, but I'm waiting to see who did this, and why before coming to any conclusions.

I went to the Cherry Blossom festival in DC a week ago, I don't know if I'd have gone right after this. There were tens of thousands of people out, enjoying the sunshine and the blossoms. So hard to find that what we think of as joyful someone else can see as an opportunity to harm innocent folks.

Frances Welch said...

Yes I'm afraid but I WILL carry on as will my son and his family , he is running the London marathon this weekend and our beautiful DIL and our three young granddaughters are going to watch daddy compete--or as the littlest says "win"--he is running for the juvenile diabetise research foundation GD no.2 is a type1.All I can do is pray for their safety and all the others taking part in any way.

Mary said...

I've felt surrounded by death this week and it's made me emotionally raw. One of my co-workers was with her family in Boston to run. Luckily she ran faster than 4 hrs and was safe. Our local Jewish community lost one of our Holocaust survivors so we are going to Shiva services daily. My dear departed mother's birthday yesterday and the anniversary of my father's death today. I"m just overwhelmed with grief at times.

Marei said...

I'm not afraid. I can't live being afraid. But I'm at a loss as to the "why" of these kinds of actions. The stupidity of all this violence in the world is beyond my comprehension.

Anonymous said...

I believe I must change my daily activities. So far this Spring, I've spent every day outside in my yard. I didn't know what was going on in the world. My friend told me about Boston, in watching the news I then found out about West, Texas. So many bad things going on today. Your words were very comforting. Thank you for sharing.

Elizabeth said...

It is a sad, sad world we live in. But I like how Shevvy put it, "You can't ignore the possibilities of something bad happening but if you live your life assuming it will - you don't live your life!" We can do our best to be prepared to help ourselves when something bad happens us and do our best help others when something bad happens to them and leave the rest up to God.

Be well, Lane.

xo -E

Susan Entwistle said...

I live outside of D.C. Our attitude is basically it is what it is. You can't go through life worrying about what's going to happen and how close it is to your home and family. You'd be neurotic. If it's not terrorists, you're worrying about hurricanes, or brush fires, or earthquakes, or nuclear reactors, or Sandy Hook or Columbine. We muddle through.