Boy, is it hot around here. I’m sure it feels hotter than it really is because we’re not used to it yet. But, between the heat and the humidity, I come home from work and just collapse. No energy to even move. And, by the time I’ve cooked supper and washed dishes, I can barely pay attention. That’s one of the reasons I’ve re-instituted sandwich night. That one night a week, there are no dishes and no cleanup. And, that makes me happy.
There’s not much going on quilt-wise right now. I’ve got a Linus ready to quilt and two ready to bind and my hexie project and that’s about it for right now. I faithfully spend all the time I can on the hexie project, even working on it while I waited for Syd at the dentist yesterday. I’ve learned that people don’t even give the guy sewing a second glance and that’s giving me confidence to bring my sewing out in public even more.
Linus put out a call for large quilts yesterday and I need to get the two that are quilted bound and turned in this weekend. If I can. If not, I’ll take them the large ones that are finished. I hate that I am so slow, and at the same time, I’m proud that I try, so that’s always a glass half full for me.
We had a problem at home a couple of days ago. I found evidence of something just like Sydney would do and I accused her. No yelling, just two opportunities to confess and some dead time between during which we didn’t even acknowledge one another, except where we had to. Sydney’s replies were the same ones she’s given when she’s been proven guilty. Unfortunately, based on history, there was pretty damning evidence that she was going to have a miserable summer.
The next day, Rob and I did a full investigation and the result is; we don’t think she did it. That meant coming home and apologizing for having the kind of relationship where I would accuse without a full investigation and reminding her that her history lead to that. And, letting her off the hook, while still teaching her that she controls how much we trust her.
She cried when I apologized. Rob asked why and I told him what she told me; something sad happened on one of her tv shows that day. But, she’s not fooling me. She was relieved.
I think she learned a lesson. I hope I learned a lesson. But, the things I’m most proud of are 1) I didn’t totally go off on her and start handing out punishments before the investigation and 2) I’m big enough to apologize when I’m in the wrong. I think that’s going to be important when she’s older. I’m hoping that she sees that apologizing is an okay thing for people to do and making mistakes is okay, too and the less far you go crazy, the less bad you look when you’re wrong. There’s a saying I use in my apologies sometimes, “seems the wronger I am, the louder I get.”
I also saw that it’s only going to get harder from here because she’s learning to argue, better and better, and the more experienced she gets at it, the more careful I’m going to have to be open to that. Because I am many things, but perfect ain’t ever gonna be one.
Yesterday was clouded in the shame of being wrong (unjustified, I know) but today the pride of being a good parent shines on my day. Unfortunately, now I have to go to that stress hell that my job has become for the next couple of weeks. Somebody, please pass the Xanax. I really need to slip one to my boss.
Be well and have a great Thursday. Lane