3/27/13

Normal

Today is the last day of the MIL’s visit, so by tonight, we’ll be back to our own version of “normal”. 

There have been lots of emotions and lots of people needing their emotions acknowledged and Sydney, not knowing how to express hers, has chosen an option where she is mean to me…well, because Gramma’s here and she can. 

I have to say that I’ve done a good job of taking her out of the room and quietly standing up for myself, so there’s not a whole lot of bad stuff built up between us that will interfere with me being there for her when she says goodbye.  If she’ll let me. 

I am looking forward to getting back into my sewing room.  Supper is already mostly cooked.  I think I can get settled in during what’s left of the evening.

Wish me luck. 

Be well.

Lane

8 comments:

lw said...

As you say, the meanness is part of Sydney eventually letting go. It will be harder for her to let go of you and Rob than for most children, because she had so many years of neglect before she came home to you and Rob, and so much to make up for. That makes for a hell of a bond between all of you. You're handling it very well.

Elizabeth said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Sydney is so blessed to have you. Having a loving, steady, consistent environment where the adults are self-aware and can see her needs and know how to help her, is the best place for her. One of the things I admire most about you is that you acknowledge the mistakes, learn from them and move on. You don't present this perfect picture of life and your family and leave out all the hard stuff. Life it made up of hard stuff and it is good to know that other people struggle with the same stuff I do AND that those other people keep trying and have success at overcoming the hard stuff.

I hope everything went well, seeing Rob's mom off. Even if it was a little less-than-perfect, Sydney knows she can count on you, and that builds for the future.

xo -E

Rebecca Grace said...

You know, I'm getting that Mom-is-my-emotional-punching-bag crap from my 12-year old son lately, and it really is crappy. I know he's lashing out because he's overwhelmed/scared/insecure/whatever, but it still feels REALLY bad.

You know, I read the most ignorant comment today on an online NYT article about the gay marriage case before the Supreme Court. She was spewing idiotic nonsense about children needing this special nurturing that only female parents could provide (so is she okay with lesbian parents?) and all I could think of is what wonderful parents you and Rob are. I don't buy the Magic Boobs of Motherhood myth, and I hope I'm doing half as good a job raising my sons as you are raising your daughter.

Susan Entwistle said...

Teenage girls can be unbearable at times. I should know :-). Raising mine most certainly was Karma at play -- at least that's what my 2 sisters who shared my upbringing tell me. Be assured that it's not you--it's her. She'll come around (usually in that first year of college). Some of the most considerate and kind 20 something's I know were their parents' worst nightmare through their teens. In the meantime reclaim your sewing space, put your feet up on your machine table and pour yourself a glass of wine. In this room you are invincible. King of the studio.

lindaroo said...

So good of you to realize what's really going on, and to take the time and energy to sooth your soul, and continue to teach S. how to live well.

Impera_Magna said...

There was a time when I prayed that my daughter and I would at least be on speaking terms when she grew up... what a rotten couple of years for me!

I am happy to say that things change drastically and we couldn't be closer today.

For you, this too shall pass... I promise!


Shirley said...

You're handling this really well Lane. I agree, teenage girls are the worst. I hated it when I was to blame for everything. She slammed the front door so hard one day the big window in the front of the house broke. Looking on the positive side at least I got double glazed instead of single glazed windows.

lw said...

Here's a link to my memories of raising teenage daughters: Katie Kaboom from the animaniacs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImOBD00FFEo