Teach a girl to find a job

I'm hoping I can bring some humor to a subject that I'm sure most people have faced, or will. 

If you still have this to look forward to...I'm so sorry.

My girl does not want a job.  What she wants to do is sit around my house all summer in the air conditioning, eating bon-bons, if she knew what those were, and cold cereal.

But, she can't. 

So, we asked her where she wanted to work.  And, she picked a couple of prime places, places where she would be competing against adults with work experience. 

Okay.  Those will be great practice before applying at a fast food place.

So, we start the application process.  And, if you've ever been around a teenager, then you know they know everything and don't need help with anything, ever, because adults are stupid and don't know anything about the real world, and only they have any idea of how to do anything, especially anything that requires a computer... or thinking.

I actually caught myself saying last night, "if you'd just realize for 5 minutes that you are all of 17 years old and that you don't know everything and that we CAN help you."

I may as well have spit into a fan.

But, it does seem to calm her when I call her on her attitude, tell her, very calmly that it's not working on me, I'm not getting mad with her, and then show her what she's doing wrong, which mostly involves reading the error messages that she's getting when she enters incorrect information and doing something about it, other than repeatedly hitting the enter key, hoping for a different result.

We had to teach her about a resume, and a cover letter and how to answer a survey.

Last night, when I told her to put in one of her cover letters that she wanted to work in the photography department, but understood that she had no work experience and she was willing to take other jobs, while she developed those skills and made herself qualified for the job she wanted, she said that was begging.

Okay, you're 17, you have no work experience, you have a bad attitude and you are a procrastinator... beg like your life depended on it, honey!

She's finally getting through the first two applications, after three nights of working on them.  I just kept reminding myself that it's the long haul, not the short race.  Teach her to find a job now, and maybe I won't need to help after her first boss fires her for refusing to wash dishes, or scrub toilets, or any of the other things she's told me she's not going to do over the last 9 years.

Y'all said it, I keep repeating it.  Parenthood; the best job you'll ever hate.

Find farewell to Sir Christopher Lee. You scared the be-jeezus out of me. Thank you. Rest peacefully. Unlike in your movies.

Lane